What I Am Learning As a Wife

This is an old photo (somewhat) as a ring is not on my finger in it. However, I think I want to dive into my thoughts about things I have learned since becoming a wife. Due to my struggle with finding a stable full-time job, I am essentially a stay-at-home wife who does random freelance work on the side as I focus on my physical health.

I want to start by saying my husband is absolutely amazing! He supports me in every way possible and I truly feel lucky to have him in my life. Not to mention he is one gorgeous man haha.

Anyway, during my "era of engagement", I have met people who would give advice on what to expect in marriage and being a wife. I was given unsolicited advice about managing finances, my birth control, etc. It's kind of baffling how personal some people want to get with you once you are engaged. But I was usually as polite as I can be as I figured all this "advice" was coming from a good place.

I know I am newly married, coming up to almost a month now, but there are things I have noticed that have shifted in our relationship. We just so happened to fall into the "traditional" marriage of him being the bread-winner and me being the house wife. Don't get me wrong, it works for our current situation. Also, I enjoy cooking meals for us and cleaning our living space (and, of course, taking care of our little superdoggo). Thankfully we always communicate very well, so there have not been arguments or fights.

However, there is this sense of worry that feels different. We don't worry about our relationship, but we worry about each other's well-being. He knows my history with my eating disorder so will consistently check in on whether he provides enough money for groceries, whether or not I have enough to eat, etc. I worry about his health as he has this mysterious abdominal issue that causes random "attacks" that send him to the hospital. Obviously, any couple in love would worry about their partner's well-being but in this case you worry more because this is someone you pray to grow old with, have a family with, etc. This worrying occasionally has brought back my anxiety attacks...

Then I've come to learn our habits. This is where I advise people to LIVE WITH YOUR PARTNER BEFORE MARRIAGE! Thank God, we do not argue and we happen to agree on most organization and such. But it seems it's a common thing amongst my friends and I that men do not invest in their clothing. What I mean by this is men will wear their clothes to death! Holes everywhere! Thread disintegrating! Clothes left in the dryer or thrown somewhere for DAYS! Can you tell it does not mesh well with my OCD? Haha. Like I said, my husband and I talk about everything, so we implemented a system that works and we got some new socks (buying new clothes a step at a time).

This blog post doesn't have much "advice", simply just me ranting to be honest. I am very happy to be married, but there will be days that are "off". Not "off" in the relationship, but psychologically off. I have been working out the last 10 days straight and staying on my diet, but I have not been sleeping well and I do get anxious still. If anything, this post is just a little life update. Whether I have readers or not, just know that all this is normal. It's okay to not be happy and joyous every day after marriage. Shit gets tough. I will continue to pray as my husband gets checked with his doctors and I will do my best to continue my health regiment.

Much love,

Leena Ravenwood