LIFE UPDATE: Got married, ATE CAKE

Wow! It has been a long time since I've been on here. My apologies for that. What's happened? Well...A LOT. I got engaged, planned a wedding, worked a sales job, got married, etc. Jesus, there is so much I can talk about right now. To be honest, I wanted to revisit this blog due to my recent fitness kick (after all this blog was about hiking, testing fitness trends, etc). But let me explain all the things that led up to this recent fitness routine and why I made the decision to get back into it.

First, getting engaged was both amazing and terrible. My now husband struggled finding the "perfect" ring due to my larger ring size and difficulty finding a ring that he felt matched me. My mother ended up helping us by bringing us to this little jewelry shop in the Tenderloin neighborhood of San Francisco where I ended up finding my beautiful two tone ring that they were able to resize to fit me. As you may imagine, size difficulty comes up again when it comes to my wedding dress.

I went to two separate bridal salons (Starlet Bridal & David's Bridal-Pinole). I can write a full review of my experiences at both in a different blog post, but overall the consultants at both were absolutely amazing. Thankfully I was able to have that "Say Yes To The Dress" moment. #sayyestothedress However, it was an emotional rollercoaster. While I was happy to be engaged, I had fallen back into my depression. This caused me to gain some weight and have issues with my body. When I did find THE dress, my mother tried to convince me not to buy it and it broke my heart. Long story short, she was someone who consistently put me down for my weight and being engaged did not help. In fact, there were plenty of people who felt the need to voice that I needed to lose weight so that I could look pretty for my wedding. Like...thanks guys. Big girls APPARENTLY can't be pretty on their wedding day because GOD-FORBID they have some love handles.

Don't feel too bad for me though. Thankfully I had my therapist. I had been seeing this therapist for a while because I was getting panic attacks and I was worried about my negative thoughts, suicidal tendencies coming back, etc. He was amazing and I was able to, slowly but surely, gain confidence and embraced self-love. Through therapy, I was comfortable with my body and I was cutting toxicity out of my life. I have stopped seeing my therapist about a month now because I am definitely doing a lot better mentally.

Anyway, so why did I get back into my health regiment? Obviously, I was not going to be on a diet for my engagement party, rehearsal dinner, or my wedding day. The food was TOO GOOD to skip. Plus, I had ordered my wedding dress at the suggested size of 22 and had it altered to my body, so it made no sense to be on a diet during this wedding planning process. Not to mention my mother gifted me a 7-day Carnival Cruise in January 2022 that you cannot diet on (well, you can, but it'd be damn hard). Y'gurl could not deny the amazing cake at my wedding too.

[Funny side note: My brother moved away from my mother late 2021 and I moved in with my now husband in February 2022. In that time, my mother, my brother, and I somehow managed to lose weight. Their Vietnamese outfits were loose and my white dress ended up being loose too (even with my alterations) lol.]

Right, so back to my health. A little before my wedding, I lost my health insurance due to a mess with the post office that I don't want to get into. The day after the wedding, turns out my venue had a lot of the cake leftover. I gave half to my brother and did my best to eat the rest ^^' Not my finest moment, but that cake was a once in a lifetime cake! Not sure why this happened to me, but after the wedding, my mood went down. This may be partially due to stressing over my work and financial situation, but I had about 1-2 weeks of eating junk. It was probably karma that I ended up getting a bad stomach virus because of this. I know, I am ranting a lot. But let's jump to the main reason I got back into my health.

There are several reasons that helped me get back into my new health regiment, but the main reason is health. It's always been health. Due to my lacking health insurance at this time, the baby-making process has been on hold. But that's no excuse to let my body go. I have cut out caffeine, reduced my alcohol consumption, etc. The idea is to be healthy enough to have a smoother pregnancy process when it comes to that time. The second main reason was just how I felt. My right heel has been hurting. I noticed swelling in my legs. My belly was bloating. I just did not feel good. I looked at the mirror and knew this is not healthy for me to keep eating whatever-the-fuck. My husband is extremely supportive of whatever I decide to do and financially has been helping with foods that will help me stay on track. Lastly, I give credit to joining a Plus Size Fitness support group on Facebook and watching 1000lbs Best Friends. This combination has been motivating. This isn't the first support group I have joined. I was in a 2022 Bridal support group and loved it. This Plus Size group makes me feel like I have the extra support system that I feel helps this fitness journey. In 1000lbs Best Friends, they are each other's cheerleaders, accountability buddies, supportive girl friends. I think that's what's also helped. While my husband is supportive, he would not understand what we go through as a plus size woman.

Anyway, I have been back to this new health regiment for about a week and started exercising again on April 5th. I started at 266lbs and today I am 263lbs. I will continue this journey and I want to keep myself accountable. I will do my best to keep this updated on my journey. Whether I have readers or not, I just want to do this for myself. I'm here to keep fighting!